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Volume 2, Number 13 April 1, 2000
Heidi: Sorry this issue is late. It seems that Cafth finally got a TV on his ship, and we couldn't
contact him Thursday night because he was watching WWF Smackdown. I hope this exposure to Earth's culture hasn't warped him
in any way.
On to this week's questions...
Cafth: Finally, The Cafth has come back to the internet!
#1: Shane asks Cafth:
Cafth, with the world governments confusing the issue of UFOs, how can we ever get the truth?
Cafth: The Cafth says to your government - The Cafth is tired of them hiding the truth. The Cafth
is not afraid of these little leaders. The Cafth says to them - you think you're so hot, you think you're so tough? You wanna
be a big shot? You wanna be like The Cafth? Listen jabronis - you may have won at Roswell. The Cafth will give you that. But
if you think you're going to embarrass The Cafth, you'd better think again.
#2: Stephanie asks Cafth:
I've been having dark creatures enter my room at night. I remember them coming in, but then
nothing after that. I don't know if they're aliens or ghosts or evil spirits, but I know they're real. What do I do?
Cafth: You tell these creatures that The Cafth is not here to play games. The Cafth is tired
of their sneaking around. You tell them that if they want to sneak into a room, The Cafth has a room reserved for them at
the Smackdown Hotel on the corner of Jabroni Drive and Know Your Role Blvd. The Cafth guarantees that will be the last room
they ever try to sneak into.
#3: Vince asks Cafth:
Cafth, this is an election year here in the United States, and I was wondering what you thought
of the candidates or if you have any insight into the outcome.
Cafth: Clinton may have the championship, but The Cafth has one thing to say to him. He'd better
not wait until November. He'd better pucker up right now and kiss the presidential title goodbye, because when The Cafth lays
the smack down on his candy ass, it will be The Cafth that will be wearing the presidential belt. They can send Gore into
the ring. They can send Bush after The Cafth. It doesn't matter what your name is. The Cafth is not afraid. The Cafth does
not back down. These so-called candidates had better learn to shut their mouths and know their roles. They can not and will
not stop the millions ... and millions ... of fans who support The People's Champion.
If you smeeeellll what The Cafth is cookin!
Heidi: Hmm. Interesting. I've put a request in to Ga, the leader of Cafth's ship, to take his TV away. Hopefully,
Cafth will be back to normal by next week.
DISCLAIMER:
If you haven't already figured
it out, the real Heidi and Cafth had nothing to do with this issue, although Amanda did help out with the kick ass graphic.
I took the opportunity to have some fun with it since April 1 only comes around once a year. Heidi and Cafth will be back
next week.
Happy April Fool's Day!
Jim
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